Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
SOFT
At rise: An old abandoned house. Lights are dim. A portrait of an elderly couple hangs above the mantel. Soft stands staring up at the portrait. He checks his watch. Then crosses sitting on the last stair. On the second to last stair lies a bundle of flowers. He waits staring at the portrait. Eventually Ali enters on her cell. She doesn’t notice Soft. She walks to the mantel and begins to pull out candles.
Ali: Look I’m at the old McCalister place. No, I’ll talk to you later. Because I’d prefer to have this conversation face-to-face. I know I brought it up. No. Because I’m spending the rest of the night with a friend. Yes. Marcus. No. … Hello? Marcus? Bastard.
Ali hangs up. Crosses to place a candle on the opposite side of the room. She notices Soft.
Ali: Christ.
Soft: Where?
Ali: Sorry. I know… I thought you waited in your car til you saw light.
Soft: You doubt my courage.
Ali: Don't flatter yourself it's obnoxious.
Soft: Conversation revolved around him again?
Ali begins to set up candles. She tosses a couple to Soft.
Ali: When doesn’t it? Even the day before I leave he can’t talk about us. Catch. Instead, he goes into detail about how he's going to decorate his dorm room in Dylan and Lennon with a splash of the Playboy bunnies.
Soft: Hopefully the porn was an attempt at humor.
Ali: No he's serious; showed me the calendar.
Soft: What'd you say?
Ali: Nothing you’d approve. What’s with the flowers, huh? Getting all sweet and sentimental before I leave?
Soft: What?
Ali: The flowers?
Ali crosses to the stairs.
Soft: Yeah…um…I bought them from Julie’s. They’re for you. Pink Sapphire…That’s the color.
Ali: Wow, Marcus hasn’t even gifted me with flowers. I’m impressed; maybe I should be dating you?
Soft: um…well…They’re a…um…from my family. I thought…we thought it would be a kind gesture. Just a friendly gesture.
Ali: From your family, huh?
Soft: Yeah.
Ali: You’re too sweet, Soft.
Soft: Don’t worry about it.
Ali: Even attached a Bible verse.
Soft: Yeah. It’s your favorite.
Ali: My favorite?
Soft: Well maybe not your favorite, but you…you mentioned you liked it. During…um…last summer. Over by the window. We were talking about the possibility of you going to…
Ali: When you tried to convert me. Yes.
Soft: Yeah…when I tried to…convert you. Sure.
Ali: You did that nervous mumble thing throughout the entire conversation. (exaggerated nervous mumbling)Jesus loves you. Jesus wants your soul. Yay, Jesus.
Soft: I don’t remember that part, but okay.
Ali: It was cute. Also the same night you convinced me to date the prick.
Soft: Yeah. I…I’m sorry about that. So the relationship is…is bad?
Ali: I spent three hours with him today. Two hours consisted of him trying to get in my pants, the other hour, which should have been spent talking about the whole leaving for college thing, was spent watching him drool over his playboy calendar previously mentioned. So, no. The relationship is worse than bad. I’m positive there’s a more deserving title to give him than prick. But to avoid getting chastised for my foul and coarse mouth I’ll restrain myself.
Soft: I and Jesus thank you.
Ali: (amused) I’m sure the both of you do.
Soft: So are you thinking about…I don’t know…calling it off or…um…breaking up…whatever you call it?
Ali: I don’t know. What do you think I should do? You always seem to be my great relationship consultant. What do you say?
Soft: I don’t know. I usually give bad advice. Look at the mess you’re in now.
Ali: Good point. But it hasn’t stopped me in the past. Lead me to another mess, sansei.
Soft: Well…um…I don’t know…let’s say you call off the relationship; I mean it doesn’t seem…healthy. Then…I don’t know…um…What about being single for awhile?
Ali: Soft. I’ve never been single.
Soft: Well, what about dating someone different from the other guys?
Ali: How so?
Soft: I don’t know. What about waiting to see who you meet in college?
Ali. No. I don’t wanna go through that awkward get to know you stage, again.
Soft: So…someone you already know?
Ali: Who, Soft?
Ali’s cell vibrates.
Soft: I…um…I don’t know. Ali: Damn it
Ali: What? Well you shouldn’t have hung up. No. Because I wanna spend the rest of the night at the McCalister place. No.
Soft waits patiently. He walks over to the portrait.
Ali: Okay. I can do that. It’s on 8th street. 522. Yes.
Soft: The woman, she has your eyes.
Ali: What, Soft? (To phone) What?
Soft: The woman, she's pretty.
Ali: What? Christ, enunciate.
Soft: Don’t say that please.
Ali: (To Soft) I’m sorry.
Soft: I just… I said she’s pretty. The woman in the portrait.
Ali: Yeah, she’s cute. (To phone) What? Soft? Um…She’s a friend. You don’t need to meet her. I’ve told you about her. No, Marcus.
Ali hangs up cell.
Ali: Shit.
Soft: Everything okay?
Ali: He’s coming.
Soft: I should probably go then.
Ali: Soft, don’t. Stay.
Soft: If he’s coming you don’t want me around. I’ll leave…and if you want just call me later.
Ali: I’m sorry. I should’ve told him about you.
Soft: And that I’m a man, not a girl.
Ali: Soft, you’ve never been a man. A boy, yes. But a man, no.
Soft: I still come here on Friday nights. Even when you’re out with Marcus.
Ali: Alone?
Soft: Yes, alone.
Ali: I’m impressed, so you’re a man, whatever. Though I pity you for not finding something else to do.
Soft: I like it here. I can't not come. Heck, that first Friday without you, I think I was even sort of hoping I’d see something. Like the first time we came here…as kids.
Ali: You were so scared. I practically drug you in here. (beat) I thought you quit believing in ghosts.
Soft: I did.
Ali: Then why the change of mind?
Soft: I don’t know. I just…I mean…isn’t it obvious? I wanted to have some…impressive story…or something to tell you…to make me seem…I don’t know.
Ali: Do you?
Soft: What?
Ali: An impressive story?
Soft: No.
Ali: Then make one up. Impress me.
Soft: It’s late. You need to talk to Marcus. I’ll go.
Ali: Marcus won’t come in here. He’ll call my cell, honk his horn, and wait for me to come running out to his car.
Soft: What about meeting me? He won’t come in to meet me?
Ali: If he does… Soft, tomorrow I go to college. And in a few months the relationship with Marcus will have ended…and honestly…I’m afraid ours might end…if… Tell me your ghost story please.
Soft: It’s not really a ghost story.
Ali: So something did happen.
Soft: Yeah, something happened. I just… I can’t.
Ali: Why?
Soft: Fear of what it will do to our relationship… friendship.
Ali: Soft, if either of us where to fuck this friendship up, it would be me.
Soft: True. Once I tell you, and you’ve cracked your jokes, and…and…
Ali: I won’t. I promise.
(She pinky swears. Soft accepts.)
Soft: Okay. I was sitting on the stairs and just looking around the room, at the windows, the floor, the portrait. Just looking.
Ali’s cell vibrates. She pulls it out and hangs up.
Soft: I remember being chilly and…
Ali’s cell vibrates again. She lets it vibrate.
Soft: It’s probably Marcus. You should answer it.
Ali: I need you to finish.
The cell continues to vibrate.
Soft: It’s your last night. You need to work things out before you leave. Answer the phone. Please.
The phone continues to vibrate. Ali flips open the phone.
Ali: I’ll be there in a minute.
Ali hangs up.
Ali: You were looking around the room and it was chilly.
Soft: I was looking around the room and it was chilly. And it came slowly at first, but then… I could see you. And hear you. On the windowsill, by the mantel, on the stairs, in the portrait. I came expecting to see a ghost. But this house is the ghost. This house is us.
Ali: Soft…
Soft: I look at that window and remember how I mumbled my faith to you, and you brashly disagreed. Those stairs. I remember you talking about Marcus, Frank, Rick, Jake, Jimmy, I don’t know, but every single one I said yes, yes date them, because maybe one day, finally I’d be left, or I’d be what you were “into.” And I could say, “yes date me.” Love me. Cause, Ali, I love you, as freakishly and perverse as it sounds, I’m obsessed. And with that, I say, and please forgive me heavenly father, but “Fuck Marcus.”
Ali: You should curse more often. You’re rather attractive when you curse.
Soft: Don’t. You said you wouldn’t.
Ali: I’m not.
A car honks.
Ali: I should probably go. Soft, if I end this thing with Marcus, what should I do?
Soft: What do you mean?
Ali: You’re my great relationship consultant, right? What should I do?
Soft: Well…um…I know this really great guy…um…he’s kind of a puss, but you might like him.
Ali: Really? What’s his name?
Soft: Soft.
Lights dim. The end.
Ali: Look I’m at the old McCalister place. No, I’ll talk to you later. Because I’d prefer to have this conversation face-to-face. I know I brought it up. No. Because I’m spending the rest of the night with a friend. Yes. Marcus. No. … Hello? Marcus? Bastard.
Ali hangs up. Crosses to place a candle on the opposite side of the room. She notices Soft.
Ali: Christ.
Soft: Where?
Ali: Sorry. I know… I thought you waited in your car til you saw light.
Soft: You doubt my courage.
Ali: Don't flatter yourself it's obnoxious.
Soft: Conversation revolved around him again?
Ali begins to set up candles. She tosses a couple to Soft.
Ali: When doesn’t it? Even the day before I leave he can’t talk about us. Catch. Instead, he goes into detail about how he's going to decorate his dorm room in Dylan and Lennon with a splash of the Playboy bunnies.
Soft: Hopefully the porn was an attempt at humor.
Ali: No he's serious; showed me the calendar.
Soft: What'd you say?
Ali: Nothing you’d approve. What’s with the flowers, huh? Getting all sweet and sentimental before I leave?
Soft: What?
Ali: The flowers?
Ali crosses to the stairs.
Soft: Yeah…um…I bought them from Julie’s. They’re for you. Pink Sapphire…That’s the color.
Ali: Wow, Marcus hasn’t even gifted me with flowers. I’m impressed; maybe I should be dating you?
Soft: um…well…They’re a…um…from my family. I thought…we thought it would be a kind gesture. Just a friendly gesture.
Ali: From your family, huh?
Soft: Yeah.
Ali: You’re too sweet, Soft.
Soft: Don’t worry about it.
Ali: Even attached a Bible verse.
Soft: Yeah. It’s your favorite.
Ali: My favorite?
Soft: Well maybe not your favorite, but you…you mentioned you liked it. During…um…last summer. Over by the window. We were talking about the possibility of you going to…
Ali: When you tried to convert me. Yes.
Soft: Yeah…when I tried to…convert you. Sure.
Ali: You did that nervous mumble thing throughout the entire conversation. (exaggerated nervous mumbling)Jesus loves you. Jesus wants your soul. Yay, Jesus.
Soft: I don’t remember that part, but okay.
Ali: It was cute. Also the same night you convinced me to date the prick.
Soft: Yeah. I…I’m sorry about that. So the relationship is…is bad?
Ali: I spent three hours with him today. Two hours consisted of him trying to get in my pants, the other hour, which should have been spent talking about the whole leaving for college thing, was spent watching him drool over his playboy calendar previously mentioned. So, no. The relationship is worse than bad. I’m positive there’s a more deserving title to give him than prick. But to avoid getting chastised for my foul and coarse mouth I’ll restrain myself.
Soft: I and Jesus thank you.
Ali: (amused) I’m sure the both of you do.
Soft: So are you thinking about…I don’t know…calling it off or…um…breaking up…whatever you call it?
Ali: I don’t know. What do you think I should do? You always seem to be my great relationship consultant. What do you say?
Soft: I don’t know. I usually give bad advice. Look at the mess you’re in now.
Ali: Good point. But it hasn’t stopped me in the past. Lead me to another mess, sansei.
Soft: Well…um…I don’t know…let’s say you call off the relationship; I mean it doesn’t seem…healthy. Then…I don’t know…um…What about being single for awhile?
Ali: Soft. I’ve never been single.
Soft: Well, what about dating someone different from the other guys?
Ali: How so?
Soft: I don’t know. What about waiting to see who you meet in college?
Ali. No. I don’t wanna go through that awkward get to know you stage, again.
Soft: So…someone you already know?
Ali: Who, Soft?
Ali’s cell vibrates.
Soft: I…um…I don’t know. Ali: Damn it
Ali: What? Well you shouldn’t have hung up. No. Because I wanna spend the rest of the night at the McCalister place. No.
Soft waits patiently. He walks over to the portrait.
Ali: Okay. I can do that. It’s on 8th street. 522. Yes.
Soft: The woman, she has your eyes.
Ali: What, Soft? (To phone) What?
Soft: The woman, she's pretty.
Ali: What? Christ, enunciate.
Soft: Don’t say that please.
Ali: (To Soft) I’m sorry.
Soft: I just… I said she’s pretty. The woman in the portrait.
Ali: Yeah, she’s cute. (To phone) What? Soft? Um…She’s a friend. You don’t need to meet her. I’ve told you about her. No, Marcus.
Ali hangs up cell.
Ali: Shit.
Soft: Everything okay?
Ali: He’s coming.
Soft: I should probably go then.
Ali: Soft, don’t. Stay.
Soft: If he’s coming you don’t want me around. I’ll leave…and if you want just call me later.
Ali: I’m sorry. I should’ve told him about you.
Soft: And that I’m a man, not a girl.
Ali: Soft, you’ve never been a man. A boy, yes. But a man, no.
Soft: I still come here on Friday nights. Even when you’re out with Marcus.
Ali: Alone?
Soft: Yes, alone.
Ali: I’m impressed, so you’re a man, whatever. Though I pity you for not finding something else to do.
Soft: I like it here. I can't not come. Heck, that first Friday without you, I think I was even sort of hoping I’d see something. Like the first time we came here…as kids.
Ali: You were so scared. I practically drug you in here. (beat) I thought you quit believing in ghosts.
Soft: I did.
Ali: Then why the change of mind?
Soft: I don’t know. I just…I mean…isn’t it obvious? I wanted to have some…impressive story…or something to tell you…to make me seem…I don’t know.
Ali: Do you?
Soft: What?
Ali: An impressive story?
Soft: No.
Ali: Then make one up. Impress me.
Soft: It’s late. You need to talk to Marcus. I’ll go.
Ali: Marcus won’t come in here. He’ll call my cell, honk his horn, and wait for me to come running out to his car.
Soft: What about meeting me? He won’t come in to meet me?
Ali: If he does… Soft, tomorrow I go to college. And in a few months the relationship with Marcus will have ended…and honestly…I’m afraid ours might end…if… Tell me your ghost story please.
Soft: It’s not really a ghost story.
Ali: So something did happen.
Soft: Yeah, something happened. I just… I can’t.
Ali: Why?
Soft: Fear of what it will do to our relationship… friendship.
Ali: Soft, if either of us where to fuck this friendship up, it would be me.
Soft: True. Once I tell you, and you’ve cracked your jokes, and…and…
Ali: I won’t. I promise.
(She pinky swears. Soft accepts.)
Soft: Okay. I was sitting on the stairs and just looking around the room, at the windows, the floor, the portrait. Just looking.
Ali’s cell vibrates. She pulls it out and hangs up.
Soft: I remember being chilly and…
Ali’s cell vibrates again. She lets it vibrate.
Soft: It’s probably Marcus. You should answer it.
Ali: I need you to finish.
The cell continues to vibrate.
Soft: It’s your last night. You need to work things out before you leave. Answer the phone. Please.
The phone continues to vibrate. Ali flips open the phone.
Ali: I’ll be there in a minute.
Ali hangs up.
Ali: You were looking around the room and it was chilly.
Soft: I was looking around the room and it was chilly. And it came slowly at first, but then… I could see you. And hear you. On the windowsill, by the mantel, on the stairs, in the portrait. I came expecting to see a ghost. But this house is the ghost. This house is us.
Ali: Soft…
Soft: I look at that window and remember how I mumbled my faith to you, and you brashly disagreed. Those stairs. I remember you talking about Marcus, Frank, Rick, Jake, Jimmy, I don’t know, but every single one I said yes, yes date them, because maybe one day, finally I’d be left, or I’d be what you were “into.” And I could say, “yes date me.” Love me. Cause, Ali, I love you, as freakishly and perverse as it sounds, I’m obsessed. And with that, I say, and please forgive me heavenly father, but “Fuck Marcus.”
Ali: You should curse more often. You’re rather attractive when you curse.
Soft: Don’t. You said you wouldn’t.
Ali: I’m not.
A car honks.
Ali: I should probably go. Soft, if I end this thing with Marcus, what should I do?
Soft: What do you mean?
Ali: You’re my great relationship consultant, right? What should I do?
Soft: Well…um…I know this really great guy…um…he’s kind of a puss, but you might like him.
Ali: Really? What’s his name?
Soft: Soft.
Lights dim. The end.
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